Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Tips, Facts, and Recommendations 

Introduction 

Grandparents might become caregivers for their grandchildren for many reasons, often due to family circumstances that prevent the parents from being primary caregivers. Common reasons include but are not limited to:  

• Death of a parent  
• Incarceration of a parent  
• Alcohol and substance use issues involving a parent  
• Mental/Physical Health challenges of a parent  
• Familial conflict  
• Divorce or custody cases  

Some Facts

• In 2021, 6.7 million children in the U.S. were living with a grandparent, and 32.7% of these grandparents. were responsible for caring for their grandchildren.  
• In Colorado, 36,459 grandparents are responsible for their grandchildren.   
• One third of grandchildren living with their grandparents are under six years old, and half of the grandparents are responsible for taking care of them are over 60 years old.   

When a Parent Turns to a Grandparent for Help 

It is not uncommon for parents, whether due to divorce, death, or other life circumstances, to turn to extended family, especially grandparents, for support with raising children. Taking on a caregiving role can be incredibly fulfilling, but also grandparents may experience challenges tied to caregiving responsibilities.  

Below are some suggestions for navigating these challenges: 

Recognize Limits and Prioritize Communication 

• Grandparents may find that caring for a younger grandchild can become both physically and emotionally overwhelming. It is important to acknowledge these limits and engage in open, honest conversations with parents and/or other support systems about expectations and needs related to childcare.  

Clarify Roles and Responsibilities

• When grandparents take on a caregiving role, particularly when a biological parent is still involved, challenges around communication and boundaries may arise. Typically, in these cases, the most effective solution is to decide on clear and consistent boundaries regarding parenting style and expectations.   

Prioritize Well-being and Maintain Support Systems

• Caregiving is demanding, and grandparents must take their own needs into account. This includes staying up to date with medical appointments, prioritizing mental health, managing finances, and building time for social connections with friends, family, and support groups. 

When a Parent is Not Involved in Care

Sometimes, biological parents are not in the picture. This raises additional challenges for grandparents who are responsible for raising their grandchildren. 

Below are some suggestions for navigating these challenges: 

Understanding Legal Challenges  

• Many custodial grandparents do not have legal custody of their grandchildren. This can lead to difficulty accessing services, enrolling in benefits, and ensuring continuous and proper medical care. These legal challenges can cause stress and delays in receiving essential care. If you are unsure about your legal rights and resources, please reach out to family law practices or local aid organizations. 

Navigating Grief and Loss

• When grandparents become caregivers due to extenuating factors such as death of a parent, incarceration, addiction, mental illness, or abandonment, grief and loss are often difficult emotions for both grandparents and their grandchildren. Be sure to acknowledge your feelings as valid, be patient with yourself and your grandchild, and find ways to engage in age-appropriate communication about circumstances and emotions.  

Signs that Grandparents May Need More Help

Because caregiving for a grandchild can be emotionally and physically demanding, grandparents should closely monitor their own well-being and watch for signs of burnout. 

Signs to look for include but are not limited to: 

•  Experiencing burnout, chronic stress, and fatigue related to caregiving and care-related responsibilities.  
• Feelings of anxiety and hopelessness. 
• Financial issues arising from the added responsibility of caregiving for a grandchild. 
• Physical health complications that interfere with daily functioning. 
• Increased conflict between family members and/or friends.

General Tips for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren 

Following are some tips for grandparents to nurture grandchildren in a caregiving role:

• Take care of yourself. If you do not practice good self-care techniques, your health may suffer, and you may not be able to meet the needs of both yourself and your grandchild. 
• Build and foster an open line of communication with your grandchild.   
• Find activities to engage in with grandchildren to foster connectedness. 
• Stay up to date with available resources and never hesitate to reach out for help.   
• Therapy can be a helpful tool for navigating these complicated relationships.  
• If your grandchild is enrolled in school, reach out to the school counselor to let them know you are raising a grandchild. They likely have additional resources to share with you.

Internet Resources for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Resources from the Grand Family Coalition: https://grandfamilycoalition.org/resource-links/   

Colorado Department of Human Services- Information on Kinship: https://cdhs.colorado.gov/kinship 

Tips and Recommendations for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: https://www.aamft.org/AAMFT/Consumer_Updates/grandparents.aspx   

AARP Grandparent Information Center provides a wide variety of resources for grandparents, as well as technical support materials to community-based groups and service agencies working with grandparents: www.aarp.org/families/grandparents   

American Bar Association’s Center for Children and Law can provide answers to legal aspects of raising grandchildren: www.abanet.org/child/home.html   

Colorado Legal Services provides legal advice on raising grandchildren, including taxes and health care: http://www.coloradolegalservices.org/   

Generations United supports children and adults through education, programs, and policy change: http://gu.org   

The Grandparent Rights Organization is a grandparenting rights advocacy group: www.grandparentsrights.org   

National Center for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren has a mission to improve the quality of life for intergenerational kinship care families via education, advocacy, and the promotion of sound legislation: http://wmich.edu/grandparenting/   

References

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Carson, L. (1996). The essential grandparent. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications. 

Clark, K. C., Kelley, S. J., Clark, P. C., & Lane, K. (2024). Needs of grandparents raising grandchildren: A qualitative study. The Journal of School Nursing, 40(4), 421-430. https://doi.org/10.1177/10598405221115700   

Cox, C. (2000). Empowering grandparents raising grandchildren. New York: Springer Publishing. 

Cox, C. (Ed.). (2000). To grandmother’s house we go and stay. New York: Springer Publishing. 

Elkind, D. (1990). Grandparenting: Understanding today’s children. Glenview, IL: Scott, Foresman & Co. 

Fay, J., & Cline, F. (1994). Grandparenting with love and logic. Golden, CO: The Love and Logic Press. 

GRANDFACTS STATE FACT SHEETS FOR GRANDFAMILIES. (2021). Grandfamilies.org. https://www.grandfamilies.org/Portals/0/Colorado%20GrandFacts%20State%20Fact%20Sheet%202021%20Update_1.pdf  

Hayslip, B., Jr., & Goldberg, R. (Eds.). (2000). Grandparents raising grandchildren. New York: Springer Publishing. 

Hayslip, B., Jr., & Patrick, J. (2003). Working with custodial grandparents. New York: Springer Publishing. 

Hayslip, B., Jr., & Smith, G. C. (2013). Resilient grandparent caregivers: A strengths-based perspective. New York: Routledge. 

Kornhaber, A. (2002). The grandparent’s guide. New York: Contemporary Books. 

Kornhaber, A. (2004). The grandparent solution. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. 

Parent Place. (2001). Going to grandma’s house…to live. Springfield, IL: The Parent Place. 

Strom, R., & Strom, S. (1991). Becoming a better grandparent. Newbury Park, CA: Sage. 

Van Etten, D., & Gautam, R. (2012). Custodial grandparents raising grandchildren: Lack of legal relationship is a barrier for services. Journal of gerontological nursing, 38(6), 18-22. https://doi.org/10.3928/00989134-20120509-02