Grief and loss can be emotionally devastating. Here are some things you can do for yourself. If you don’t resume your typical level of functioning within a reasonable amount of time (different for everyone), seek counseling.
- Take care of yourself, first. You need to “put gas into your own tank” in order to keep moving. Be a good role-model to others (like children) through self-care.
- Focus on what you can control. Focusing on things that are out of our control increases anxiety, fear, or guilt.
- Allow your emotions to be validated by others and yourself. Identify how you are feeling and give yourself permission to experience it. Be gentle with yourself; in time your symptoms will lessen.
- Talk about your memories, experiences, beliefs, and thoughts. DO NOT ISOLATE! Reach out to those around you like loved ones, family and friends, support groups.
- Allow others to help you. They love you and want to help so tell them what you need instead of making them guess or do the wrong thing with the right intention.
- Keep busy with purposeful work to occupy your mind. Don’t use this as a cover to avoid things, and be careful not to be “too busy” or obsess over tasks.
- Maintain your personal schedule. Preserving daily routines including hygiene, eating schedule, exercise routine, etc can help keep you from dropping too far down into a depression.
- Maintain your work schedule. While some time off work is needed, it is important to set a reasonable date to return. When you do, keep meetings, appointments, and try to regain some sense of rhythm.
- Postpone big decisions until things have calmed down.
- Eat well. Choose a healthful diet, drink lots of water, avoid alcohol/drugs and limit caffeine/sodas.
- Exercise and/or relaxation: Exercise like walking, relaxation techniques/yoga, enjoying nature, etc helps process toxins out of your system and helps stimulate helpful chemicals in your brain.
- Limit your exposure to the media. While it is good to get updates (depending on the situation), too much exposure can contribute to prolonged reactionary symptoms.
- Talk about your understanding of trauma/pain. For many people, death, loss, or trauma provokes questions about religious/spiritual beliefs. This is normal, but don’t expect to develop answers.
- Find multiple ways to express feelings/thoughts. Drawing, music, writing (journal, log, notebook), creating art, collages, pottery, paint, crafts, etc, reading, and even writing letters can be helpful.
- Religious/spiritual affiliation. Within your belief system, support though congregation, leaders & literature can be comforting.
- It’s OK to laugh. Laughing doesn’t mean you aren’t respectfully grieving. Be careful not to offend—keep yourself in check and be appropriate.